Texting While Driving Satire

I textual matter firearm driving. I try not to, provided I do. And I know what youre thinking. I pay back it. You think Im careless. You think Im reckless. You think Im dangerous. You place Im an accident waiting to happen that Ill credibly get killed one day that I might even kill you. I tell you now, I understand. further I dont care. I piddle places to be, text messages to send. At times Ive been brilliant, multitasking to perfection typing Brobdingnagian charm devising a double way change in Austin rush-hour traffic.Other times Ive swerved, or barely hit the brake in time, only to throw my r solely(prenominal)y in the backseat and make that homogeneous pact to never again send a text message patch operate a vehicle. Okay, so I care. But despite caring, Ive found that there isnt a scare, short of an accident, that will deter me from texting while driving. Not even the law. And being that Id kinda not die, or kill you, on the whole in the name of an anecdotal tex t that just as well could accept been typed while in park, Ive since developed a set of rules.These rules, when followed, have been as fool-proof as directions for walking while chewing a piece of gum (excuse the triteness). I no longer swerve. Im no longer agonistic to slam on my brakes. And for the past eight months, my Texting While Driving Protocol has relieve both our lives. loom 1 assure the Future. Know how the road will flower as you divert your attention to your phone. As 10 and 2 device drivers, were already requisite to predict the actions of and be accountable for all objects in and around our path (i. e cars, pedestrians, cyclists, animals).Compare and Contrast Driving in the winter and Driving in the SummerWere regular clairvoyants. And sure, we have laws which aid us in predicting those intend actions of others, but that only further supports my following(a) point It is not required that our gumptions be entirely engaged at all times for us to trust while on the road that to look aside from the road for x amount of time, as long as a driver can account for all in store(predicate) events that may unfold within the outmatch travelled during x, is no less beneficial than looking both ways in advance one walks across a street, which in addition requires a level of anticipation.Rule 2 bushel your whereabouts aft(prenominal) each written tidings. This performer you must LOOK UP after each word you type, and predict 2-3 more(prenominal) seconds of future before typing your undermentioned word. Rule 3 Use shorthand. Yes, shorthand. The same shorthand that has been slowly killing terminology since mans invention of time and his subsequent inventions to fork up it. But this lax variation of expression will keep you in the 2-3 seconds per word range. And I know, youre a writer with utmost grammatical standards. You punctuate all of your texts. How assume I suggest you replace this night with 2nite?Just remember Life > Language. Rule 4 Hold your phone as close to the top of the steering roll up as possible. This will allow for greater access to your peripheral vision, and may garter you catch any unforetold objects. But not too high Unless the law is even on your side. Rule 5 Do NOT text while making a turn. Not only is it tougher to sense the position of your vehicle in its designated lane, but you also lose any profit gained by holding your phone in its peripheral position. With these rules in mind, I warrantee that you will be a repair driver.